when evening falls.. so hard

If I had to live life over 

what would I do differently

is it too late to change, 

to turn things around. 

should I settle for less 

or demand more. 

or should I just wait

for life to end so 

life can begin?

questions with answers that

 I’d rather not face, 

questions that lead 

to more questions, 

questions I’d rather not ask. 

is my smile not my own?

does my happiness 

lean on someone else? 

what if they moved 

what if I fall

what if I move 

what if they fall

waiting..

for the right moment.

to smile.

should I rock the boat or 

should I let it sail on

regardless.. 

of the fathoms

do I know?

would I ever

know

do I really need

to know

should I care 

to know

would I know

when I knew?

is this the truth

I seek

or is this only

keeping me 

from my raison d’être

if I knew 

how much time I had, 

would I 

do things  differently? 

or would I 

wait and wait 

for things 

to turn out differently, 

will they

do they

even if I don't try

can I get

if I don't give

can I give

regardless..

I plod on

with 

or without 

hope, but with the faith 

that when I step out 

into the darkness 

of the unknown, "I will have 

something solid to stand on 

or I will 

be taught how to fly"

and when evening falls..

peace

shall 

prevail.